Remember those times when you used to hang with the girls and be completely happy and at ease; those good times when you threw caution to the wind and sleeping with the enemy was not a crime but an act of mischievous behaviour that was followed by lengthy renditions of all the details and haughty laughter. All you did was giggle and give ‘high fives’ to whoever had the most exciting stories. You walked into the room with your gals and even the punch bowl turned to take a look; the belles of the ball; the envy of all ‘those other’ girls dressed in puffy outdated outfits reminiscent of a scene from Grease.
Of course you were the stylistics and were at the forefront of every fashion trend but not only were you the best dressed but you were the most intelligent; the ones who mastered what I refer to as the ‘Triple B – BBB – Beauty, Body and Brains’. Everyday was an event and every event was something to be noted. There was never a dull moment and there was always someone behind you to catch you when you slipped or to fasten your zipper and always someone in front, ready with needle and thread and a bag full of all your accident fixer uppers! Those were times were just simply grand.

It so happens though that once; or maybe twice or more times in a lifetime that human nature sets in. There are of course many factors that lead to its onset and we all have different definitions (more so excuses) and reasons for ‘allowing’ it to happen. Some call it distance; some call it betrayal; others call it irretrievable breakdown but I; I just call it ‘The Disconnect’.
It happens that the phone calls become shorter and fewer, the news are not so thrilling and the goodbyes are a relief instead of a gloomy conclusion. The get-togethers become obligatory and you drink yourself silly just so you can put together some sort of thwarted conversation that you are more than happy to forget the following day.
Some people feel the need to keep up the pretences and some just zone out and create their own world where they imagine that everything is still the same and everyone else is clearly delusional.
This is the time when the disco-net is cast into the sea and the swimmers are distinguished from the bathers. The big fish are determined and the little sardines are caught and made Human Natures next meal.

The end is inevitable for and in everything and even those things which are set to last a lifetime come to end because life itself is not everlasting which is why I fail to understand why there are so many of us who still paddle our little flippers towards the net and not away from it and even when we are caught in it; we do nothing to fight against it but instead we allow insecurities and obscurities about the way life should be to cloud the fact that we are all living for an end but when it comes when we are still living we fail to acknowledge it. I believe that endings are not so miserable but it is our reactions to and our preconceptions about them that make them so distressing and grievous.

Sometimes it is not about envy, sometimes it is not about betrayal, sometimes it is not about anger and frustration. It is not about the logistics and guilt; and not about who should apologise and who should say something first. Sometimes it is just about an unplugging, a movement in a new direction, an attempt at something new and an evolution of the being.
As people; I also believe that we owe it to each other as a symbolism of humanity and an understanding of our own basic needs to grant leave where leave is due. We need to let go in order to be able grasp at something else. We also need to stop the accusations and bring to an end the assumptions. Life is about progression and it’s about fighting wars within ourselves and also with other outside forces. Once a battle is won the army needs to move on to the next one so that they can be closer to conquering the enemy and winning the war. This is the same for the relationships we build as friends (and as lovers but that is not what I am addressing here).
Some of us dread to acknowledge the presence of the net and we close our eyes and allow it to engulf us. We try to squeeze in moments and even those moments are plagued by thoughts of separate moments. We start to wonder about the others intentions and in doing so we become so engrossed in pretending that we do not realise that our own intentions are a matter of wondering.

We forget the times when we used to laugh at these sorts of things and we would look at other people and say, “look at those fools, fighting over petty things; when will they get it together?”
Getting it together is sometimes not about mending what is broken but about taking the pieces and building something new. A friend once said to me at a time when I was feeling low and down, “you have to learn to live on the broken pieces,” and this is what my “Disconnect” is about. It’s about moving forward, following a new current and avoiding the many disco-nets that are being cast into all our oceans on a daily basis.
I choose to be a big fish and to not get caught in the disco-net. I choose to acknowledge that it is there and that if I do not swim away I will be a meal for the ravenous Human Nature.

Jerome K. Jerome once said in his infamous wisdom, “Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need – a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing.”

I do not know whether he and I have met in a previous life but I do believe that I once told him about my ‘Disco-Net’ for he could not have said what he said without an inkling of it.