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Archive for July, 2009

Living in a new South Africa: a dream come true, or not?

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

 

 Here I am, 15 years after the end of apartheid and the commencement of a new democratic dispensation in South Africa. I have been on this farm my whole life, just like my parents have been. My great-grandparents moved onto this farm with the previous owner almost a hundred years ago. My extended family has grown over the years, toiling on the farm, bearing more labourers for this farm. In the worker’s compound we are more of family than colleagues. Some of my uncles and aunties are nearing their 70’s now, past pension point, but they still rise before the sun to work the land and go back home long after the sun is back home, their scrawny backs bent from the heat of the sun and the hard work.

 

I was born, less than 40 years ago as the only child to my parents who were and who still are farm labourers. My parents couldn’t really afford to send me to school from their meager earnings so I had to take a job on the farm, helping tend for the cattle herds and sheep flocks. Besides baas de Villiers said it was not necessary to send a black kid to school because his role in life was to labour on the farm and therefore does not need education for that. “White people were not created for these tough jobs and living conditions that black people have to live in,” he had said to me one day when I was just about nine years old.

 

I was raised to believe that, if my life had to have any value beyond what it was now, then I had to be white. But because I couldn’t change who I was, I just accepted it as my allotment for life. I was never going to be good enough and I was never going anywhere beyond what I am now, a farm labourer. I, however, did manage to save enough money from my earnings to take me to school for a couple of years. However, as I got into my teens, as more responsibilities were shifted to me on the farm I had to quit school and work full time on the farm. My father had taken to drinking heavily, spending all his earnings on beer. My mother, who was already fragile from working the long hours couldn’t take it longer and became sickly and was bed-ridden for five months,. At the age of sixteen it felt like I was carrying the whole world on my shoulders.

 

Two years later I met Eve and we got married. She brought comfort to me and was able to take care of my ill mother as well.

 

When the news reached us that SA was a new country where the so-called black, coloured and white could live harmoniously as one people, at the same level, we cried tears of joy. Finally that meant an end to oppression. That meant an end to social discrimination. It meant an end to classical discrimination. That meant that we could go to school, get good jobs, drive beautiful cars, own houses and take care of our families. Moreover it meant that my daughter who is now almost ten years old could look up to the future with more hope than I ever had. She could now dream of doing the jobs that only white people did back in our days. She could dream of one day becoming a nurse, a teacher, and accountant, lawyer or even a pilot. I had heard that many women were even becoming pilots in other countries.

 

However, baas Jan didn’t seem too pleased with the news.

 

“This country is going down now. Kaffirs are just incapable of running this fuckin’ country. Look at all the progress and development the white man has brought to Africa? Medicines, roads, electricity etc. and these morons in power are just going to bring it all down!”

 

Indeed he was fuming as he echoed the sentiments of former apartheid strongman P. W. Botha.  And he didn’t even have a trace of shame on his face! But this time around I stood up to him. I had been told we are now living in a free country so I told him my piece of mind. 

 

“Baas Jan, it doesn’t matter what you people brought here. You wouldn’t have gotten where you are now if the same black people you now ridicule had not been there.” I fumed, even for a moment forgetting I had resolved to stop referring to him as Baas. ”Who works on the roads? Who labours on the farms and in the industries? Is it not the same black people you treat as shit? This is now a new country and there is no place for racist people like you in our new South Africa. President Mandela spoke about reconciliation and which part of that do you not understand? And if you think black people are forever meant to be your servants and you the bosses, then wake up and smell the coffee. It is a new world and we shall not accept…”

 

“Hold on there you bloody fuckin monkey.” He cut in, his brow creasing and eyes narrowing fiercely. ”Do you know who you are talking to like that! You want to sow discord into my other workers ha!” he was fuming now. His eyes had narrowed and turned a bloodshot red. His face betrayed betrayed a mixture of anger, disbelief and even more anger. But I refused to be cowed into submission.

 

“That is the reality of the matter and the sooner you realize and accept it the better for you and indeed for everyone!”  I said, turning to go home. I had never done this. I had never spoken up to the boss like that. I had never turned to go without being dismissed. But then everything begins somewhere. Democracy and freedom had begun in South Africa. And I had begun to exercise my right, my freedom of choice and choice of freedom.

I was feeling very triumphant indeed. At last I had told him what he needed to know. Too bad he was too hard headed to understand anything but I had done my part. 

 

“Malan! Malan!”

“Baas!” Damn, I should stop calling him baas now. We are now all equal. That’s what the president said. Black, brown or white; we are all South Africans. So if he won’t call me Baas then I wont call him baas as well. As soon as I turned my head to look back at him he bellowed.

“You are fired!”

“Yes I am!” I quipped back, not understanding what “fired” meant at all. It was the first time I have ever hear anyone saying that and I thought he meant it as a compliment to my courage in standing up to him. My step picked up a bounce as I sauntered towards my house in the compound.

UBA

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

Background and context

 

UBA is an illusory narration about a male student (UBA) studying at the University of Zimbabwe (UZ) in Mount Pleasant Harare. In the days gone by, the Zimbabwean government provided most, if not all, university and college students with grants (VTL) to cater for living expenses and other study costs. Sometimes due to red tape, incompetence or sheer malice on the part of Government departments and University Authorities responsible for the disbursement, the pay-outs would be delayed. Whenever these delays occurred there would be subsequent student protests and demonstrations (which sometimes turned violent resulting in arrests). However, when the money did eventually come, some of the UBAs would typically spend some of it on beer drinking (Mass Alcohol Consumption activities) and on women (usually their university counterparts –USAs). But one in a thousand would take the high risk route and pay for a night of pleasure with a lady of the night (prostitute). With the Health ministry ensuring an abundant supply of free condoms, things usually went very well, until…

 

This is one such story.

 

Please note this story is entirely fictional. Footnotes at the bottom aim to explain some of the terms used.

 

 

 


UBA[1]

 

Have you heard? VTL[2] is in!

Augustine got his this morning

Ah! At last! I say, jumping up from my desk

I throw away the Calculus text

Calculus?! What is Calculus when VTL has come?

Within minutes I am at the bust stop

Everyone must have heard

Because there is a very long queue for kombis to town

I make my way towards the tail

Thinking it will be another hour before I get my butt onto a kombi

My name is called and I turn

It’s the boys, at the head of the queue

It’s wrong but I have to jump the queue

VTL can’t wait longer than necessary

In no time we are cruising down Second Street

Past Belgravia Sports club and the South African Embassy

I jump off the kombi and head for the Stone Bank

Bound by a promise to meet the boys at some watering hole later

It’s my turn to sponsor the MAC activities

Mass Alcohol Consumption activities

Memories of previous MACs flood my head

And bring a smile, no, a grin onto my face

The girl in front of me thinks I am mad

Maybe I am really mad

I am sponsoring MAC activities tonight

“Wud-you-ker-to cum n’ spend some cash wit papa?”

That’s my best saladic, or rather snobbish tone

I always seem to pick it more easily when I am loaded

And today I am because VTL is in

For three or four weeks we had waited for VTL

The Cadres had adumbrated and speechified

The Union[3] had been agitated and impatient

Just last week we had a demo

The great hall was geologized[4]

But some cadres were arrested

All for a worthy cause

“Nhasi kune dheeemoooo baba…!!!” (today there is going to be a demonstration, father)

I can’t help but hum to myself

Soon I am done withdrawing cash from the ATM

 

It’s a few minutes before midnight

I cannot seem to remember the last time

The last time I had drunk so much

The last time I had been out this late

But I have to go back to campus now

But my exit is not without thunder

I bequeath a sum for three more rounds for the cadres

I have to find me a woman to spend the rest

The rest of the money and the rest of the night

That chick has been smiling at me for long

She’s definitely impressed by my spending prowess

And she’s very beautiful; or is it the make-up?

She is very attractive; or is it the skimpy skirt?

She’d make me a very good wife; now this is booze in my head!!!

But who cares?

A UBA and his VTL, let them enjoy whilst they last

For they are soon parted

“I want you for the rest of the night” says I

“How much do you have?” says she

“Money? I’m Marimatombo baby!!!”

“TAXI!!! MT PLEASANT, UZ, BAGDAD[5]!!!”

Soon we arrive at New Complex 5

I stumble into my room, find the switch

I’m still clutching to her arm as to a hard-won trophy

“Get ready, I’ll be back soon”

I return a moment later with several packs of maDeMbare[6]

I am soon hitting away, fucking like a mad man

It’s been quite a while, imagine since Sandra ditched me last month

Because of the VTL delay USA[7]s deserted us

Resorting to NABAs[8] and Sugar daddies

Leaving us with no option at all

But to put hand-to-member when called upon by nature

So within minutes I explode inside her

She purses her lips, frowns and curses

“What’s wrong? It’s been long you should underst…”

“Did you put on that condom?” she demands

Of coz I did, I pull out my member to show her

To my horror, the condom is all but a tiny ring

Rolled up my member because it burst

Fear strikes, I’m speechless and I can’t move

“This is it!!! I’m dead!!! I have got AIDS!!!”

Instinct comes into play

I jump off the bed into the corridor

“HEEELLLPP!!!” I scream, tears already biting into my eyes

UBAs!!! Comrades and friends, macadre

Five doors open almost immediately

“What’s wrong man?!”

All eyes follow my hand to my member

Now hanging limp as if ashamed of himself

For bringing death to the whole body

Run and wash with soap, the Jacob Zuma advice

Use hot water! Suggestions come in a torrent

Here, pour Jik on it, or use Harpic!!

 

It’s been 7 years since

I’m too scared to go for testing

My friends say I am gaining a lot of weight

Did I or did I not? I’m too scared to know

And I haven’t seen that girl since

Some say she is probably six feet under

“It’s up to God, whatever his verdict

God’s case, no appeal”

 

 


[1] University Bachelors Association – UBA loosely used to refer to any male university student

[2] Vocational Training Loan (VTL) – A grant given to university students by the Zimbabwean government for tuition and living expenses.

[3] Union generally used to refer to the student body or part of.

[4] When demonstrations turn violent (as they typically do) stones are thrown

[5] Bagdad – nickname for a man’s residence called New Complex 5 at the University of Zimbabwe, in Mount Pleasant, Harare

[6] Free condoms provided by the Ministry of Health and Child Welfare

[7] University Spinsters Association – loosely used to refer to female students

[8] Non Academic Bachelors Association – men who frequented campus for the purpose of finding girls only, normally called sugar daddies.

Missing: My period

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

Where are you, my period?

 

Pain and sanitary issues

By-products of each monthly issue

Are every girl’s worst nightmare

Four three days every lunar cycle

Moods swing between mood swings

I never thought I’d miss my periods

Until I actually missed one…

 Pregnant? Maybe!

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